UNFAIR SCHOOL DICIPLINE POLICIES....

So just when you think your morning is going pretty good the phone rings and it's the kids school. The thoughts start running through my mind....who's sick?, who's hurt, oh no maybe it's another bullying issue....my heart was pounding as my husband answered the phone then I hear, " is he alright, how did that happen?" Gulp....I am panicing now :0( so here it is my stressful morning with the school:

There is nothing worse than getting a phone call from the kids school only to find out that Jay was given an in school suspension for fighting. After talking to the Vice Principal and with Jay on the phone we realized that we needed to go to the school and look into things. Sure enough Jay didn't start the fight. What happened was that he tripped over a bench and ran into (accidentally) another boy and before he could apologize he was jumped on from another boy out of no where. Jay tried to do everything he could to walk away once he got him off but he kept coming back for more. Jay's teacher is very protective of Jay with the bullying issues and questioned the class on the matter and it happened exactly like Jay said. But because of the school rules anyone involved in a fight is to be punished by the guidelines. How is this fair. Jay not only had in school suspension for the day but he wasn't allowed to participate in the school basketball game after school today. Now isn't that punishment enough. Well guess what the kid that caused all the trouble got? The exact same punishment as Jay. I didn't agree with this and neither did the teachers and the vice principal but he had to follow the guidelines. OMG I was almost crying (again) at this point and to see Jay in tears the whole time was killing me and his teacher. After almost 2 hours of talking to the vice principal with Jay he felt that what Jay was getting for punishment was unfair so we were told we could appeal his decision for discipline until the principal who knows Jays bullying history was back at the school (tomorrow). After confirming that Jay was only defending himself (not hitting just blocking the punches) we appealed and Jay decided to stay at school with his teacher and continue on with the day instead of coming home and he will be able to participate in his basketball game today. I tell you that if it was my kid that started the fight I would have brought him home from school and took him off the school basketball team all together.

The problem with the school is that they don't give concequences to the kids to make them think twice about doing it again. Sure the bullying will stop...but will move on and bully someone else. Now I am stuck in a situation on how I am going to deal with this issue. Jay was punched more than once and other kids witnessed all this so is this the time I prove a point and press charges for assault. Will it really make a difference and get the point across to this kid and maybe his parents? He probably wouldn't get anything for it anyway just another talking to. I feel that he should be removed from the basketball team for the rest of the year and really give him something to think about.

How would you deal with an issue like this. Should there be more punishment for the one who started it or fair punishment like school guidelines want.
GRRRR I can't take this anymore and I pitty the next kid who lays a hand on Jay because I will be taking matters into my own hands.
I am getting ready to head up to the school to pick up the younger kids and stay to watch the basketball game. I am just hoping that the rest of the day was ok for Jay. It was so hard leaving him there this morning but he said he would be ok. Why is he being targeted for bullying. He is new to the school but I mean come on it's already the end of February, I have noticed that one of the kids he is having a problem with is on his basketball team and from what I see he sees Jay as competition. Both boys are really good but the other kid is use to being the best and having everyone looking up to him and now Jay is moving into his spotlight. Will I ever figure this out?
I hope that with him going into Junior High school next year these problems will go away...

***WHAT'S UP WITH TEENAGERS?...

...HEAR ME RANT....

Yesterday was a very upsetting day for me although my day didn't start of too bad. After lunch hubby had to go into work for a few minutes to check on things, I was busy cleaning up some mess from renovation projects, the kids were off watching TV and Jay was outside playing street hockey. Once I go the front porch cleaned out I called Trinity down to see it. She was surprised! We had taken up her dance floor in the family room to give us more space and put the floor down in the porch for her to dance on. She now has her own dance studio with a door she can close to keep her brothers out! So back to where I was going here. While she was dancing in her new studio I see Jay out front in the yard which immediately set off alarms with me so I opened the door and there was Jay almost passing out on the step. His face was turning ghost white and he was crying. I quickly grabbed him by the shoulders of his jacket and pulled him in the house. Come to find out he was punched in the head and had his fingers bent back. I thought they were broke but they seem to be ok now. Thank God, he just started guitar lessons. So I got him settled in and heading out to confront the large group of boys. They all stuck together of course with the same story but when I asked for Jay's hockey stick they told me it wasn't there. I was pissed because I knew it was out there. After I came in the house to but my shoes on the go look through the snow Jay calls out and tells me that they went back in the trees and brought out his stick and buried it in the snow. so I head back over and sure enough after a few words from this very upset mother they handed the stick over. While this was happening they were laughing at Jay who was looking out his bedroom window about what had happened. By this point I was steaming mad and they knew it.

I decided it was time to take action with some parents here so I started with the kid who has been always causing the most trouble and telling the kids that there is no God or heaven and so on...well I spoke with his father last night which was the hardest thing I had to do... His father is the Minister of the Church up the street where all these kids go to Youth Group together. I honestly don't think he was hearing what I was telling him. Then I broke down and told him what his son is telling the kids about there not being a God and so on and he tells me that it some syndrome that children of preachers can show...I guess they rebel against what their parents preach. What kind of excuse is that. I don't think I got anywhere with this last night so I will have to continue to watch what goes on outside. God it most certainly doesn't get any easier as they get older does it? How else can I deal with situations like this without being the bitchy parent on the block...or the only parent who care about her kids...where are these other parents anyway.

Well that's my rantings for the day I'm getting angry just thinking about it. Jay is doing fine and went to school this morning. I guess his finger is a little purple and his headache has gone away.

***PLEASED WITH THE NEW SCHOOL

With moving one of the hardest decisions I had to make was finding the best school for my children. Well with already having a couple of months in at the new school I am happy to report that it's definitely one of the best schools my children have attended. The school spirit and the close relationship between parents and the teaching staff is great, they really make you feel part of the school. Now with this school only being five years old it has many great features and the safety of the children is a top priority.

Today when Kohl my 5 year old son came out of school at the end of the day he was wearing a hat and had a few treats and students were wishing him Happy Birthday....the first thing I was thinking was oh no he's up to his story telling again....but this was not the case, the school celebrated the birthdays from the summer break so that no student in the school would be left out of the birthday celebrations. I thought this was so nice and Kohl was all smiles because of it! So now you kind of get an idea why I am so impressed with this school.

Now on the other hand it's still not perfect and bullying is still an issue and will be at any school you come across. Today with the rain I picked the kids up at school and waited around for Jay who is 11 years, to be dismissed. He didn't see me waiting for him so he headed home. By the time I got through the traffic and got on the main road I had noticed that he ran out onto the street and almost got hit by a car...he's alright but I tell you we headed right back to the school. The reason for him doing this was because of some bullies who chased him out onto the road...I hadn't realized that the bullying from these kids was that bad. But apparently he felt safer running onto the street instead of dealing with them. The school has a zero tolerance for bullying and the principle informed me that just this afternoon they had an assembly with all the students on bullying and because of this there will be disciplinary action taken. The school theme song for the week has been "DON'T LAUGH AT ME" by Brad Paisley , if you get a chance listen to this song, I love it.... Jay was asked to take a stand on bullying and to not let it go any further. Hopefully after Monday things will get better and Jay won't have to deal with these bullies...