ss_blog_claim=89c5075de08a27469a4c85b7b67a5e81 Rantings Of A Woman: UNFAIR SCHOOL DICIPLINE POLICIES....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

UNFAIR SCHOOL DICIPLINE POLICIES....

So just when you think your morning is going pretty good the phone rings and it's the kids school. The thoughts start running through my mind....who's sick?, who's hurt, oh no maybe it's another bullying issue....my heart was pounding as my husband answered the phone then I hear, " is he alright, how did that happen?" Gulp....I am panicing now :0( so here it is my stressful morning with the school:

There is nothing worse than getting a phone call from the kids school only to find out that Jay was given an in school suspension for fighting. After talking to the Vice Principal and with Jay on the phone we realized that we needed to go to the school and look into things. Sure enough Jay didn't start the fight. What happened was that he tripped over a bench and ran into (accidentally) another boy and before he could apologize he was jumped on from another boy out of no where. Jay tried to do everything he could to walk away once he got him off but he kept coming back for more. Jay's teacher is very protective of Jay with the bullying issues and questioned the class on the matter and it happened exactly like Jay said. But because of the school rules anyone involved in a fight is to be punished by the guidelines. How is this fair. Jay not only had in school suspension for the day but he wasn't allowed to participate in the school basketball game after school today. Now isn't that punishment enough. Well guess what the kid that caused all the trouble got? The exact same punishment as Jay. I didn't agree with this and neither did the teachers and the vice principal but he had to follow the guidelines. OMG I was almost crying (again) at this point and to see Jay in tears the whole time was killing me and his teacher. After almost 2 hours of talking to the vice principal with Jay he felt that what Jay was getting for punishment was unfair so we were told we could appeal his decision for discipline until the principal who knows Jays bullying history was back at the school (tomorrow). After confirming that Jay was only defending himself (not hitting just blocking the punches) we appealed and Jay decided to stay at school with his teacher and continue on with the day instead of coming home and he will be able to participate in his basketball game today. I tell you that if it was my kid that started the fight I would have brought him home from school and took him off the school basketball team all together.
The problem with the school is that they don't give concequences to the kids to make them think twice about doing it again. Sure the bullying will stop...but will move on and bully someone else. Now I am stuck in a situation on how I am going to deal with this issue. Jay was punched more than once and other kids witnessed all this so is this the time I prove a point and press charges for assault. Will it really make a difference and get the point across to this kid and maybe his parents? He probably wouldn't get anything for it anyway just another talking to. I feel that he should be removed from the basketball team for the rest of the year and really give him something to think about.
How would you deal with an issue like this. Should there be more punishment for the one who started it or fair punishment like school guidelines want.
GRRRR I can't take this anymore and I pitty the next kid who lays a hand on Jay because I will be taking matters into my own hands.
I am getting ready to head up to the school to pick up the younger kids and stay to watch the basketball game. I am just hoping that the rest of the day was ok for Jay. It was so hard leaving him there this morning but he said he would be ok. Why is he being targeted for bullying. He is new to the school but I mean come on it's already the end of February, I have noticed that one of the kids he is having a problem with is on his basketball team and from what I see he sees Jay as competition. Both boys are really good but the other kid is use to being the best and having everyone looking up to him and now Jay is moving into his spotlight. Will I ever figure this out?
I hope that with him going into Junior High school next year these problems will go away...

7 comments:

jenn said...

Oh carrie. I teared up reading this. That is so unfair! If EVERYONE says jay didn't do anything wrong, then he shouldn't be punished at all. The kid who started it should be kicked off the basketball team. Period. I am all for guidelines and stuff, but not when they are universal, with no wiggle room. If a kid is defending himself and just blocking the blows, how can that be considered fighting?

I hope things get worked out. If jay is punished regardless, tell him next time he gets jumped to fight back.

Tammy said...

THAT IS SO NOT FAIR!!!! I'm glad the teacher and the vice-principal thought so too. Good for you for petitioning it! I hope everything works out and if he still gets suspended tell him the next time to hit the jerk back since he is getting into trouble for it anyway.

Petula Wright said...

I hate that policy! It really doesn't help the children who aren't trouble makers. My problem with it is that how do you teach your children to protect themselves. I think it should go back to the way it was: the person who starts the fight should get in the most trouble. I've known children to literally get hurt very bad because they feared getting suspended.

I am so sorry that happened to Jay. I think the only thing for parents to do in situations like this is to rally for change. I would make sure that my child's record reflected that he did not instigate the fight and tried to walk away instead of just saying that he was suspended -- regardless of the type of suspension.

When Amber first started school I taught her to hit if someone hit her. Now things are so much different!

Carrie Smith said...

Thank you Jenn, Tammy and Petula for your concerns. I am still shaking over this and my head is bounding and to add to it all I managed to get to Jays games and had to deal with my 3 year old throwing a tantrum. GRRRR. I wouldn't be surprised if I cry myself to sleep tonight.

jenn said...

(((hugs)))

lots and lots of
(((hugs)))

Carrie Smith said...

Hugs thanks Jenn you are the BEST!

K. Darrell said...

I have to agree with everyone here. That isn't right. I understand the zero tolerance policy and I do completely agree with against the bully not the one being bullied.

So if it ever happens again and Jay is going to get the suspension anyway, tell him "to make it count". Maybe then the bully will think twice about ever touching him again.